The Pursuit of Peace

December 14, 2007

Peace.  It is calm.  I think of it as my end.  My life is the means to peace.  Do the means justify the ends?  If the means make me question my end, then I haven’t reached my end.  So yes, the means justify the ends because peace needs a clear conscience without rationalization. 

I have achieved so much personally, but I cannot find peace.  I cannot find calm.  I know too much to be calm.  I am too afraid to find peace.  I cannot write the passionate music and be fueled by fire in my soul to effect to world if I am peace.  “The greatest weapon on Earth is the human soul on fire.”  A weapon against the flaws in my character.  My soul on fire is the only way to redeem myself against my past.  It is the way to pull myself up the gradient.  Everything in life is a means.  It’s a shame that we cannot know if there truly is an end we will get.

Peace is calm in the midst of work, argument, noise and painful silence.  Peace is the ability to remain together in the most broken moments.  Empathy needs the absence of peace.  I need empathy to live on the way to my end.

I am not ready for peace.  It is my end.  When I have reached it, I am confident that the God I know will tell me its time to go.  He knows that I can’t go until I reach peace.  If I have reached my end, then I haven’t done what I need to do.

I know a lot of people struggle with the idea that there is an end that we are working towards.  I think my end is peace, but that could change tomorrow.  What is your the end?  Is there an end?  Tell me the truth.  If there is an end, can we get it?  Or are humans jsut too flawed?  Are you capable?